After the HARDWORK, is it PAIN?

.exactly 01:14 AM on march 14, 2008 that i was busy finalizing our powerpoint presentation for the bio120 (cell biology) laboratory special problem defense when my personal computer, eventually, just bugged down. everything in me turned dark. for a moment, i became empty. i was really shocked. i didn’t even noticed how it happened. i cannot even think of something more than my thesis manuscript and our bio 120 special problem files. i really do not know what to do.

.i forced myself to calm down. somehow, i’ve been guided. i tried to turn back on the computer. unfortunately, it never danced with me. for almost thirty minutes, i was just looking at my computer’s CPU. i talked to the CPU. i beg him to help his self to recover from whatever happened to him. but he was really damn sick. he never helped me.

.by then, i contacted cheri, my partner in the study, for i cannot recover the 22 – prepared slideshow presentation i made. cheri just replied with my SMS to her that she cannot work for it since she has no computer unit. there is one in the apartment where she is staying however jilah, one of our classmates, was using it.

.got nothing to do. so helpless. i couldn’t even cry though i really have had a heavy heart that time. i felt the weight dumped in my body. my soul wanted to fly and never come back. with that very moment, i almost to run in the national highway and let any vehicles hit me to death. cheri shared to me that we’ll gonna take sleeping pills and so not to be awaken anymore. i wanted to faint and never recover anymore. *sigh*

.here, think of those most important keys for you to graduate. i have my thesis manuscript and bio 120 requirements. i surely cannot graduate if and only if i would fail to comply and submit those.

thesis manuscript – i had been working this for semesters, night and day. i even experienced sleepless consecutive nights for weeks just to finish parts of it. believing it or not, i fell in the raft which catered us when we had our field experiment during those rainy days in Agusan Marsh. with that same event, my digital camera and cellular phone with me were marred – got broken also.

bio 120 (Cell Biology) – this is one of the required subjects in the degree. since, UPMindanao only have few number of students, this course could only be offered during second semesters. only if there is available faculty member who can teach the course and the number of students is greater than 10, the course might be offered anytime per requested and as approved.

.i am already revising my thesis manuscript after having done my defense on november last year. yet, i am still far from what supposed to be. huhu. last march 15, 2008 was the deadline for the department chair revision. telling you, my manuscript is still on my panelists’ level. *sigh*,. but, i didn’t worry most of it coz i am pretty sure to complete and make it done before the deadline for the hardbound copies at the college secretary.

.and what about my bio 120?

.as posted Laboratory Rules, we heartily did our experiment. but, of what had happened the dawn on march 14, everything just almost swept and turned nothing. i hurriedly make an eight-slide powerpoint presentation for us just to have a presentation at 10:00 in CSM. the presentation did not contain any photos of all our experiments especially the absorbance values of our spectrophotometry.

.mentally blocked.
.speechless.
.uncontrolled nerve-jerking.

 

.felt ashamed.
.insulted.
.melted.

.wanted to die.

.do not know, til now, what to do!

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