This month is Papa’s birthday month. And remembering such always put me into tears.
Even though up until now we can hardly figure things out why the Lord God took his life earlier than we expected, we can do nothing but to accept how things went out and live our lives as if our father is still here. We are actually living the lives what my Papa wanted us to be. I know for sure he’s happy up there but it is more like a happier birthday for us to celebrate if he’s still around.
For you Pa, although you’ve heard this from me not that often, you know how i love you and would always be loving you and thankful for raising me for who I am now. You know what I got from you and that’s my curly hair. LOL. I am just kidding but I know that you are happy seeing me wearing my witch-like uncomb hair after taking a bath. I still remember those days that you even tried to fix my hair and I really missed that.
Oh well, I shouldn’t be dwelling most of those memories because a day is not enough to calm me down. I should make myself strong enough to let everything sink in my system that physically I won’t be able to hug you, see you, kiss you nor whisper I love you. I know I can do this. Maybe not now, but hopefully soon.
Pa, I am still your youngest daughter who calls you for allowance, who you always pick at the terminal every time I went home and all of those. Pa, I really missed you.
Believe it or not, this is the most difficult post I ever wrote. Every single word is a 5-minute tears. It’s like a typhoon of tears in my desk now. But I need to have this done. At the very moment, I don’t know what to type, I still am in tears.